I always thought my voice sounded kind of cool, at least in my head. That's probably my first problem: being somewhat arrogant about something that doesn't really matter. Since I was little, I've loved the thought of radio broadcasting and acting, as I've written about the latter several times on this blog.
But there's one thing that might hinder me from ever getting VO work: my voice is annoying.
It's stupid, I know, but my voice is exceptionally annoying to me. I can't control what my tongue does, and when I do, it sounds more contrived than it did before. It makes me wonder if I would ever be able to get any kind of VO work ever. I'm sure I could get something, but I bet it won't be reading an audio book.
Justin has told me to try to take one day at a time and make each day great. I worked on my short film pre-production yesterday, and have tried to better myself by reading up on web series development this morning. I still feel like I'm lagging behind and maybe, just maybe, I'm forcing myself into a career that I would never be good in.
Yeah, I'm a defeatist by nature. Lately, though, life has been more sad than happy and I have felt more lame than anything else. Maybe I am forcing myself into being an actress and filmmaker for validation reasons. I love the art of it, but is that my sole motivation? I always like to think storytelling is why I'm in it, but sometimes I'm not quite sure.
I'll play this life out as my hobby, then go from there. Maybe I should pick up painting again or something. Maybe I should stop being so hard on my self for once.
Tuesday, August 12, 2014
Tuesday, August 5, 2014
Back to School, oh, and work
I cannot believe it is August 5th. AUGUST. FIFTH. WHAT. The time has certainly dragged and flown by simultaneously, as all holiday breaks do. It's been productive and stressful and a little bit lazy, which I definitely needed. I gained more weight than I lost, but I'm taking care of myself in more ways than I had previously.
June was full of school for me; my nephew graduated high school, I went back to college, taught a summer camp, and drove the bus for a bunch of camps for the first time. It was really fun, but I didn't have much time to sit or even think.
July was the opposite. I thought too much, which is usually my downward spiral into a funk. It's silly to have a funk in the summer time, but it happens to me every year, whether in school or not. Summer for me always meant exciting adventures with Mom, and staying up until midnight because Dad was building a LOT of crates for a job the next day. It was fun, but exhausting. Nowadays its mostly the latter.
My sister and her daughter came down this past week to help me clean up some of Dad's house. It was not easy, and we didn't seem to make a huge dent, but I'm glad that she was able to experience some of what I do, seeing Mom in the form she is, and both of us helping Dad to show that we love and support him.
Now on to the hardest time in our lives: COLLEGE.
I'm starting back on August 21, in the midst of orientation for work. I'm hopeful that I will be able to give 110% to both work and school and my family, but we will see. I just want to make sure that I get good grades. If I keep a 3.4 or higher, I could graduate with honors, which means graduate school may be more of a possibility than it was before.
Pushing through with the max loads should put me at graduating in December 2015. Only a year away :)
I'm praying that I will not lose my sanity or vision, and that I will finally have my life come together when I'm 28. Then,I can focus on storytelling, my career, and being able to support my family in a better way than I have been able to in the past.
June was full of school for me; my nephew graduated high school, I went back to college, taught a summer camp, and drove the bus for a bunch of camps for the first time. It was really fun, but I didn't have much time to sit or even think.
July was the opposite. I thought too much, which is usually my downward spiral into a funk. It's silly to have a funk in the summer time, but it happens to me every year, whether in school or not. Summer for me always meant exciting adventures with Mom, and staying up until midnight because Dad was building a LOT of crates for a job the next day. It was fun, but exhausting. Nowadays its mostly the latter.
My sister and her daughter came down this past week to help me clean up some of Dad's house. It was not easy, and we didn't seem to make a huge dent, but I'm glad that she was able to experience some of what I do, seeing Mom in the form she is, and both of us helping Dad to show that we love and support him.
Now on to the hardest time in our lives: COLLEGE.
I'm starting back on August 21, in the midst of orientation for work. I'm hopeful that I will be able to give 110% to both work and school and my family, but we will see. I just want to make sure that I get good grades. If I keep a 3.4 or higher, I could graduate with honors, which means graduate school may be more of a possibility than it was before.
Pushing through with the max loads should put me at graduating in December 2015. Only a year away :)
I'm praying that I will not lose my sanity or vision, and that I will finally have my life come together when I'm 28. Then,I can focus on storytelling, my career, and being able to support my family in a better way than I have been able to in the past.
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